Valentine's Day is the second most marketed event after Christmas. It shows. It has become a celebration of consumerism rather than romance or love. The economic meltdown has dented spending on this Valentine's day. The New York Times reported on couples that had to forgo thousands of dollars worth of gifts and dining out. Only in the New York Times would one find a story describing one couple's choice of store bought foie gras as a sacrifice. I can't help but imagine that once upon a time Valentine's Day was more genuine, sincere, and heartfelt. That it was about true displays of love and commitment and not about contrived or artificial romance.
Where can I find a touching Valentine's Day story?
On the other side of the world, there are men in India who are beating up women celebrating Valentine's Day and destroying Valentine's Day cards. As one of my friends pointed out, if they really wanted to be "efficient" they could beat up the men who purchase the cards in the first place, but I sense that there's something deeper going on. It's gratifying to see how some Indian women are responding. But it is within neighboring Pakistan that I find inspiration. Not that Pakistan is faring any better with women's rights.
ABC News ran a story today about acid attack victims in Pakistan. Apparently, 80% of women in Pakistan are victims of domestic violence. A young woman who married told her husband that she would not move into his family's house. He decided that an appropriate response was throwing acid on her face. Most women who are victims of this reprehensible abuse end up being ostracized or outcast. There is at least some movement in Pakistan to deal with this horrific problem. ABC described a "beauty salon" (for lack of a better term) that offers beauty treatments, medical care, and job training for acid attack victims.
The young woman in the story is part of this beauty salon. Her father is supportive of her involvement, but his support goes well beyond this. When asked about how he feels about his daughter, he said the following:
"My daughter is very beautiful...I'm even MORE proud of her than I am of my sons..."
I think only South Asians might be able to appreciate the true power of this statement--one that challenges too many of 1.3 billion people to stop acting like jerks when it comes to gender relations. When this young woman was asked about her experience and the beauty salon, she said, "When I look in the mirror, I still ask myself 'why me?'...now that I'm here I feel courage...I have hope." I get the impression that with her father's love and support, she'll never remain a victim for long.
Public displays of affection, especially between men and women of any age or relationship, remain rare in South Asia. At the end of the news story, the father walks through a gate. His daughter sees him, smiles beautifully--some things even acid can't destroy--and hugs him. He warmly hugs her back.
Now that is a touching Valentine's Day story.
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I heard about the Indian women responding to violence against women through that pink underwear campaign, but I didn't realize it was connected with the celebration of Valentine's Day. Their campaign seems to be in the same spirit as the V-Day events to stop violence against women and girls, which are often held around Valentine's Day. I don't have anything against celebrating the holiday with flowers, chocolate, cards, or a nice meal, but supporting an end to domestic violence is certainly a meaningful way to mark the occasion.
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