Monday, May 03, 2010

Finding my edge

I spoke today in public. For the first time in years -- many years -- I completely froze when I walked up to the stage. I stuttered once, I repeated myself, and I nearly lost my entire train of thought. During the unveiling of a plaque, I lost my focus and shook someone's hand behind the plaque instead of in front of it. I hope whatever useful message I might have had to offer made it through.

I felt as if I lost my edge on a sheet of ice. This period of being in between pushing forward on what has become familiar and discovering what is real is disorienting, perplexing, frustrating, challenging and draining.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

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