Finding my edge

I spoke today in public. For the first time in years -- many years -- I completely froze when I walked up to the stage. I stuttered once, I repeated myself, and I nearly lost my entire train of thought. During the unveiling of a plaque, I lost my focus and shook someone's hand behind the plaque instead of in front of it. I hope whatever useful message I might have had to offer made it through.

I felt as if I lost my edge on a sheet of ice. This period of being in between pushing forward on what has become familiar and discovering what is real is disorienting, perplexing, frustrating, challenging and draining.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Awake

Now that I am awake, I realize that circumstances and the past don't have to define me but rather that I can define my circumstances and the future. The question before me is what I am more afraid of: failure or success?

High definition

I'm thinking about buying a new TV. I have an incredible TV right now. But it is four years old. And as I noted while walking around Best Buy today, that's ancient in the electronics world. The new LED TVs are so vivid, so thin, refresh so quickly and use so much less energy!

As I drove home (without a new TV), the sun was setting. It pierced the clouds with its fiery orange and red. Only the nascent shades of blue, indigo and violet gave the hint that soon it would be dark. As I saw the range of colors of the sunset, it dawned on me that nothing is as high definition as nature.