Pilgrimage to Biloxi

It might seem strange to consider a journey to Biloxi as a pilgrimage. It isn't the town most people would choose for spiritual exploration. But then again most towns haven't gone through the type of devastation that resulted from Hurricane Katrina. There's no doubt that New Orleans ultimately suffered greater damage, especially after the levees broke, but Gulfport-Biloxi suffered a great deal. There's really not much point in trying to compare the relative effects. But it is worthwhile to think about how far--or I should say how little--things have progressed since Katrina changed the social, geographical, and political landscape of this country.

In Biloxi, the casinos and the resorts are back in business. More than one person pointed out that these businesses provide tax revenue, bring in tourists, generate jobs, and so on. True. Still, there's something perverse about seeing broken homes, a University that looked like a ghost town, a closed down beach (too much debris in the water for people to swim), and debris from gutted homes on the street, all within plain sight of luxurious condos, hotels and resorts.

Smaller, locally owned businesses have come back as well. We made more than one trip to the wonderful Electrik Maid Bakery. I met an incredibly sweet (pardon the pun) woman at this bakery who would refer to everyone as "sweetie-pie" or "darling." When my friend (see his blog post) mentioned this about her, she simply stated that she treats everyone the way she expects to be treated. It was really touching to experience the Golden Rule in action. Her spirit, warmth and kindness brightened everyone's mood. And the butter cream certainly satisfied everyone's sweet tooth. We also ate at Le Bakery, a place that has managed a unique form of fusion cuisine--Vietnamese style po' boy sandwiches. My wife, our friend and I were taken to Le Bakery by one of the kind souls who volunteer at Hands On Gulf Coast. He is one of the "long termers" who have spent months in Biloxi on the rebuilding and reconstruction efforts.

I had the great fortune of spending a few days with these volunteers at their facility in Biloxi--the "sacred place" for my pilgrimage. If you have watched the TV show "Jeremiah" you're familiar with Iron Mountain. The Hands On "base camp" in Biloxi reminded me of Iron Mountain as a place where kind, thoughtful, generous, dedicated, humble, beautiful (in every sense) were rebuilding their world with irrepressible spirit and courage. Even within a few days, I felt a deep sense of respect for and bonding with these people. Everyone participated eagerly in the chores in the base camp, and everyone volunteered for a range of activities from building to serving meals to petting cats and dogs at the Humane Society. I found myself happily carrying a box full of rotting vegetables to the compost heap in the garden. I've stayed at some of the finest hotels in the world, but I can honestly say that I've never slept as peacefully and deeply as I did in the backyard tent at the base camp.

President Bush visited Hands On Gulf Coast in April 2006. At the Hands On base camp in Biloxi, there's a picture of him "horsing around" with one of the volunteers. It was interesting to note that I didn't have a single conversation about politics while I volunteered in Biloxi. I think that Hands On is pragmatic in the sense that they focus on rebuilding lives and they understand that resources and support can come from a variety of places. I admire their compassion for others, especially when combined with this dispassionate approach to garnering support and attention for their goals.

My pilgrimage to Biloxi was an important step in my journey of self-actualization, but it also made me realize I have a long way to go. Hats off to the Hands On folks in Biloxi.

Why Decide?

You may be wondering why I chose "Decide" for the name of this blog. Then again, maybe not. I believe making a decision is one of the most powerful acts we can undertake. Truly making a decision. My thoughts about decisions were influenced by a course in graduate school that included a component on decision analysis. An analytical, critical, intellectual examination of decisions. One of the books, however, began with this quote:

"The idea of a 'decision' is a quintessentially Western idea, an act of hubris to a believer in Eastern philosophy and a joke to the enlightened. (Can you imagine Buddha or Lao-tzu making a decision?)"
- Ron Howard, Professor at Stanford (not the actor/director)

If reaching the enlightenment of Buddha or Lao-tzu is a thousand mile journey, I'm sure that I've taken only a few steps...

My emotions about decisions are captured poignantly in a scene from the Lord of the Rings. Lost in the mines of Moria, Frodo and Gandalf share the following exchange that leads to these statements:

Frodo: "...I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Such a simple, yet immensely empowering statement. Even in the depths of Moria, lost, confused, sad, this statement offers hope. Even in the most unpleasant of circumstances, we have choices, if only to decide how we will cope with the difficulty.

We are driven by so many unconscious, subconscious, latent, neurotic impulses and motives, I wonder how often any of us truly make decisions. We do things to please our parents; we do things to piss them off. Either way, we're still reacting to what they did or did not do for us.

We want to fit in. No one wants to be singled out, unless you reach that elusive point where being unique makes you rich and famous. Until that point, it's best to hide amongst the others, so that no one pays you unwanted attention. So we buy the "right" clothes, car, food, wine. We read the right books (or at least the reviews) and watch popular movies so we can talk about them in the office or with our friends.

If you think this fascination with decisions is one of those bourgeois luxuries, consider that making decisions in the face of unimaginable, yet all too human, difficulty is an even more powerful theme. Read Vicktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, an absolutely absorbing book about his experience in Auschwitz. In his book, he states:

"After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips."

Even as we approach death, we can make powerful decisions. I recall reading an article about famine in Niger, about a small child who was at the point of death. He had great difficulty breathing, much less doing anything else. Yet on the particular day that the reporter was writing the article, he decided to sit up--an incredible act for someone so frail. Not a big deal? I still remember it to this day, and I still find it inspiring.

Our societies make interesting "decisions" as well. We watched a show on PBS about diamonds. How the entire planet has made this particular mineral so valuable. How an entire industry has responded a fabricated lust for this particular rock. I suppose extreme circumstances make it evident what is important. In the post-apocalyptic world in the Showtime series Jeremiah, during one episode, the lead character says "there's only here...there's only now." There are material goods that remain important in this environment. People trade food, clothes, batteries, but I don't recall much diamond trading taking place.

It's worth noting that Frodo and Gandalf's exchange in Moria takes place just after Gandalf shows the Fellowship how deep the dwarves mined into the mountain seeking mithril. And how much they wasted their lives by not deciding what to do with the time that was given to them.